Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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