WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
