I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
