Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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