I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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