Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Floor bacon is actually really good
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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