we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
