Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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