I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize