I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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