His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sober January is a disaster.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
