I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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