I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
