is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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