i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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