white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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