I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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