I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
