bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
