the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
