Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize