living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
