Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
