Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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