hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
