no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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