tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
