Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
