At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
