Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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