I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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