i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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