i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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