Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
