I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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