i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
