Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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