I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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