It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
