Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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