WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
