Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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