You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
