physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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