another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
