The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize