Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
