Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
