i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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