im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
