Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
