when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
