just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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