i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ladies don't puke and tell
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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