Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
