you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
