OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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