I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize