They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sorry about my life...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
