i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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