Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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