Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
