I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
worst night to have a conscience
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
